Are Your Beliefs Serving You?
Your beliefs control your destiny because they are the imprint upon which the future is cast. Take a moment and reflect on your current beliefs. Think about how you acquired them in the first place and whether they have changed over time? Many of us form beliefs when we’re young and hold on to them with strong conviction. If our beliefs are challenged, we respond angrily because of their importance in our lives. But what if our beliefs are not working for us? For instance, I recall growing up, the importance of working hard to earn a living. This became my belief for the past three decades. However, my parents immigrated to this country in the late fifties and worked hard to make a life in a new country. From their perspective, working hard equated to the success required to thrive in their new surroundings.
Nowadays, with the tech boom we have seen countless young entrepreneurs become multimillionaires and billionaires overnight. The painstaking hard work approach my parents were familiar with has been replaced with big ideas and innovation. The point I wish to make is: we must upgrade our beliefs as our life circumstances change. Many beliefs are passed down from one generation to another and are rarely questioned. What about you? Are your beliefs serving you? How do you know? You need only look to your present circumstances to see whether your beliefs are working for you or against you. For example, how would you rate your relationships, whether they be intimate, friends or otherwise? What is the state of your finances or career? What is your health like? We need to be honest and score ourselves in each of these areas to see whether our beliefs are empowering us or working against us.
Be Willing To Upgrade Your Beliefs
Fate does not influence our destiny, our beliefs do because they control our actions. Take for example my mother who rarely drives into the CBD because she believes it is difficult to find parking spots on the street. On the other hand, I have worked in the CBD for years and known parking spots are readily available around town. If I were to drive into the CBD with my mother for a couple of weeks and point out the parking spots, I’m certain her belief would change. There’s a passage that reads: “You must believe it before you see it.” Regrettably, for most people the reverse holds true and this holds us back in areas of our life. Can you see how your beliefs decide what you experience?
Sadly, many people go to their deathbed having lived a less than optimal life and call it fate or destiny. We have far more choices about our life than we recognise. Therefore, we must be mindful whether we are choosing from a place of fear or a place of love. If our beliefs are flawed, we will choose accordingly and call it fate since we don’t know better. A well known example is seen in dating where many people hold a limiting belief along the lines of: “There are no good men or women to date” or “All the good ones are taken.” Have you heard these beliefs amongst your friends or perhaps even yourself? In this instance we are perpetuating a limiting belief based on fear. However, if we buy into this narrative, it will prevent us from taking action to be in a loving relationship. We might avoid putting ourselves out there or build a wall to protect us. Therefore, our belief becomes a double-edge sword where it keeps us safe, yet it prevents us living a richer life. It might be better to create a belief such as, “I am open to being in a relationship with a suitable person at the right time.” We must upgrade our beliefs and challenge them until our life circumstances change. Is this something you’re willing to do? Are you prepared to step out of your comfort zone and challenge long-held beliefs that might be holding you back?
A practice I have used for years involves writing in my weekly journal any limiting beliefs that I feel are holding me back. I challenge the belief and look for evidence where it appears in my life. I then create new beliefs and affirmations to support the shift in awareness. We must change our thought landscape if we wish to change our model of reality. If we don’t do the work, we are likely to call it fate or destiny and lament our missed choices. After all, as the great Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung knew well: “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”